The only thing worse than having nerve rattling stomach pains on land is having those same pains expanding and contracting while flying in a United pressurized metal tube.
The only thing worse than not grabbing a beer at the bar a few yards away is spending an hour regretting sobriety while stuck on the runway and another 5 hours wondering how to steal the $10 2 oz. bottle of Jack.
The only thing worse than sitting next to Miss Los Angeles on land is being forced to crawl over her to get to the restroom, even though she was only pretending to be asleep so she wouldn't have to get up.
But in all honesty, the only thing worse than being forced to watch "Valentine's Day" in flight is choosing to watch "Valentine's Day" in the land of America, a magical place where you may always move about the cabin and make choices that define you.
So if you have rented "Valentine's Day" out of curiosity, I pity you. If you bought a ticket to see it and ended up enjoying yourself, I am ashamed for you. That was the worst movie I have seen all year, which of course means I had so many witty remarks to share, alas, with no one: Miss LA was watching the film but I was too afraid to say much to her because she scoffed at everything the flight attendants did; and my travel-mate, Cynthy, was in a coma next to me.
The movie is really impossible to critique because it was sans good parts. If I had to pick a story line I thought was kind of well-written and even a bit surprising, it would have to be the one with Bradley Cooper and Julia Roberts. But that is all. The rest, even without detailing the lack of chemistry in the scenes or about the painfully bad acting from the actually good actors, was crap. There were way too many story lines to follow, and bad story lines at that. Just looking at the billboards you could tell the flick was only a big money maker. It makes me sad.
More than that, I am curious. What drugs did the agents use to make their actors join the cast, or even finish reading the script?
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