Everyone needs to stop and think about what makes them feel on top of the world. Think about those moments where you feel like you've been put on this planet for a damn purpose, those small victories that are pretty shallow but still make you king for a day or a week or a month.
These are what I call glory moments.
To be perfectly honest, most of my glory moments are school related. While many people just slide by in a school project, I really remember the hours I spent on a Power Point presentation, all the thought I put into a literary theory website, and the real creativity I put into a presentation on "The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao" where we created a life-sized comic book narrative. Every time I get an A I think, "My goodness, I am amazing."
I have other glory moments, most of them include all eyes on Hannah. Giving a good speech is a quite glorious feeling. And lordy, when I noticed I had 14 followers on this blog I thought I must be a goddess. (Even though half of them I think I forced or cleverly manipulated into following me. "It's easy. Just push the follow button. Everyone's doing it.") But one of my favorite glory moments was actually something I did not want to share with my parents, even though most of everyone else was invited.
Two years ago I did a play called "Stop Kiss" at the community college I was attending. It's about two girls who fall in love with each other. It's a good play, even though pretty cheesy at some points; but I made it work because I was feeling pretty glorious. And I am a very good actor. Everyone says so. Except my parents, because they didn't come. I told them, "Hey guys, I love you. But I kiss a girl in this play. And in one scene I don't wear pants. I don't want you to come." They supported me by not showing up, bless them.
Today I came upon my script for that lesbian play. I do this thing where I like to relive my glory moments. I really hope I'm not the only one who does this, because that would be kind of embarrassing. For instance, I have this paper I wrote that the professor loved. Sometimes I will reread that paper and her glory filled comment at the end. I tell myself I do it because it's good to reassess how you're doing on your writing and see how far you've come, see if you've improved at all. But really it's just because I like the feeling of being approved of. Anyway, today I relived the glory of being the lead in a play (and doing a damn good job, if I may say so) by acting out my lines alone in my room. It was a private 20 minute rendition of "Stop Kiss."
I don't like when I post things like this just to keep this updated and then end up humiliating myself. Why the hell did I feel the need to broadcast my love for Celine Dion or my six-hour obsession with a crossword puzzle?
Although, telling you about my rereading a play that I did two years ago has meaning, and it is two-fold. One, I miss acting and I'd give a kidney to be able to do a play right now. Two, I think people are too humble sometimes. I'm not saying you've got to be haughty and proud and throw yourself a parade for every victory and goal scored. And I'm really not saying you need to brag in a way where you're trying to look subtle but you really just come off as an ass. But maybe sometimes you just need to give yourself a little more credit when you do a good job. Everyone's got their talents. A lot of people are just afraid to vocalize them.
