Tuesday, October 27, 2009

A Mid-Production’s Quiet Leave












The venue Mysterium lived up to its name. Even in finding it on the dark streets of Orange was a conundrum. And once Theodore and I entered the Tarot and palm reading, Wicca and Reiki retail shop, I wish we had never found it. The people at the front were nice enough, and upon walking past the various spiritual healing books, past the Tarot reading rooms and then into the theater, I discovered the reason for their joy at our arrival. The theater, which was more of a back room, sat about 30 or 40 people and it was half-filled that Friday night. The audience members’ faces looked strained, confused, and unintentionally judgmental. They were watching the opening act: Puck, a gothic, Asian young man doing card tricks and jokes in a horrible British accent. And when people did not laugh, he actually said, “No? Not funny? Okay, maybe this one.” The best word I can use to describe it is “creepy”. And the creepiness continued throughout the mutilated rendition of A Midsummer Night’s Dream.


The four Athenian lovers were dressed like those generic models on Target posters during August, advertising the latest white and navy back-to-school ensembles. Demetrius had a cast on his foot and a single crutch. He clacked around the stage while being chased by a very tall Helena. Peter Quince and his troop were not all male and were dressed as plumbers and construction workers and other blue-collar professionals. Thesseus and Hippolyta were dressed as a conventional king and queen, as normally as Mysterium’s budget could bear. And besides Puck’s gothic outfit, Oberon’s cheesy warrior outfit, and Titania’s rather revealing outfit, the fairies’ costumes were just the way you’d think a fairy might look, with just enough mysticism and imagination. This mixture of modern and traditional costumes was confusing. It did not add to the play at all and only enhanced the fact that this was a wobbly production. Luckily, it did its part to momentarily distract me from the across-the-board, poor and embarrassing performances, besides of that one 10-year-old girl who played that one fairy in those four scenes.

However unkind the acting was to my cheeks from my uncomfortable cringe, the only positive thing I can recall from the play was in the all of the actors’ performances: energy. Energy was in no way lacking from the stage. In fact, I think they stole my energy, because I walked away quite drained. Both Helena and Hermia were perfect examples of the enthusiasm, to which apparently the director made the cast pledge some sort of cult allegiance. Or maybe it was all of that Reiki they do. (Reiki, I found upon polite and deliberately nonjudgmental inquisition, is a Japanese, stress-reducer practice that moves healing energy through mental and physical massage.) Helena was out of breath as she ran after Demetrius, speaking her lines as quickly as she could. I appreciated Puck’s nimbleness as he jumped on the slide, stumbled on the swing, and hopped lightly after Oberon. But it was also very contrived. Everything Puck did was contrived.

Titania’s energy was a different kind. As if her odd, strips-of-lace costume was not racy enough, she had to act as if she just drank her third Irish Car Bomb the whole time she was on stage. She arched her back in weird ways, lifted her arms with wrists left limp and revealed more of her leg than I wanted Theodore to see. She said her lines as if she was approaching a hiccough and she made unprecedented eye contact with Oberon, Bottom, and me at one point. If she wanted her performance to be remembered, she succeeded.

The characters I did not mind coming onstage were the misfits practicing their play. These were the scenes I enjoyed most while reading A Midsummer Night’s Dream, so it is only logical for me to enjoy watching them. Yet, more than that, I think I enjoyed watching the crew in play rehearsal because I was pretending, and hoping, they were rehearsing to actually better their upcoming actual performances. For example, perhaps when Bottom, a big, annoying, clumsy boy, practiced Pyramus, he was unconsciously practicing Bottom. Rehearsal is where all the actors needed to be. I appreciated their energy; but I’m pretty sure they forgot that other actors were on stage. There were no connections.

Unfortunately, I have little material left to thrash. Theodore kept glancing at me during the first half and we would meet eyes and nod our knowing faces: intermission was our only hope. We were sitting next to another student from class and his friend and they also left before the second half could begin. I can only imagine how obvious it was that at least four of the fifteen audience members no longer sat in their seats. However, I do not believe the cast’s nor ushers’ spirits could have been brought down. They were positive, happy people and believed they were doing a superb job, down to the delayed jokes and Puck poking his head out from the backdrop to tell a confused audience that it was in fact intermission.

No, Mysterium’s production of A Midsummer Night’s Dream did not succeed in interpreting this colorful, Shakespearean play for the audience. In fact, it frightened me. The play is eerie enough with its meshing of two realms and characters with goals difficult to relate to, like vying for an Indian child or fighting a love poison’s strength. Then the hyper players added to its creepiness by trying to make every line sexy and to get through every line quickly. What was so bold was they never deterred from their enthusiasm. We were basically on the stage with them the room was so small and they could probably sense how uncomfortable we all were, or at least they could feel our lethargy, and yet continued on in their zestful fight to end the scene more quickly than the one before. And as an infidel in the audience, I was able to enjoy the play more as someone might have in Shakespeare’s time. I was not a passive, modern-day member who did not a thing to represent my disfavor for what was unfolding before me. I was actively sighing, whispering, and taking down rude, but witty, notes on each element of the poor production. They should be happy I had no tomatoes with me. I was so worked up over their raping this play of any of its worth and value I believe it holds that I was tempted to stop by one of the private rooms to get a first-hand relaxation Reiki experience. But we made the cowardly decision to bolt for the car and leave Puck’s accent and Titania’s drunkenness to torture the faithful and committed remaining souls.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

This man and this woman and this man and this woman and this man and this woman


All I know is that this is a collective wedding held in Korea. People from all over the world came to participate, although half of one couple participated a bit passively. Lucky guy.



This just reminds me of the marriage rush of people my age. I don't exactly understand if it's a trend that people follow, a mass of weddings must mean it is the right thing to do. So go for it. Or maybe it's because these young men and women don't know what else to do with their lives. Do they have no career goals? Nothing they want to do in the prime of their lives? I have a hundred things I want to do before I'm married. Granted, most things you can do single are things you can do married. But it's not the same. And I must concede that there are very many young couples in their early 20s who are ready to get married. My sister was one of them. She was 21 when she married her husband and both of them were ready. They had been dating for more than six years and they were just in the right place. And I can now report their marriage is nothing but bliss and cotton candy and pink muffin ponies. And an occasional bit of reality.

The top picture scares me. It's a good image of the graduating class of a Christian liberal arts college during any given year.

Some are ready. Some are not. My three readers, do not get married unless you can stay awake at your own wedding.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Breaky breaky

After my first testing Oct. 2008

Marker

Please look at my eye. For those who do not believe me that my eye is a lazy bastard, here is the proof. While my leg kicks ass, my eye is not very competent.




Hello friends. I broke my first board today. I am quite proud of myself. Although my instructor gave me a hard time for not hitting it in the middle, I think it just shows how off-center I really am. I am now an Orange Belt and testing for Orange Senior next week. Perhaps afterwards I will take another intimidating picture. Two thumbs up.

I got my first bruise from sparring a couple weeks ago. And I would have documented it but by the time I thought of it, the black and blue had faded.



A small addition slightly political and actually opinionated. After all, the title of my blog is À Mon Avis, which means "in my opinion" in French.

Before every class we recite the tenants of Tae Kwon Do:
COURTESY, INTEGRITY, PERSEVERANCE, SELF-CONTROL, INDOMITABLE SPIRIT. Then we quote the Tae Kwon Do Student Oath:
I shall observe the tenants of Taekwondo.
I shall respect my instructors and senior students.
I shall never misuse Taekwondo.
I shall be a champion of freedom and justice.
I shall build a more peaceful world.
SIR.

I, as a faithful Taekwondo student, observe the entirety of this five-part oath, even the last one. I strive to build a more peaceful world through my No. 3 leg sidekicks, No. 3 leg front kicks, No. 2 leg spin sidekicks, spear hands, ridge hands, and No. 1 leg double rounds. Ergo, I anticipate to be up for next year's Nobel Peace Prize. I have been doing this longer than a few weeks. I'll try to be more symbolic, to represent something more than myself, to be eloquent and use my hand gestures sparingly. I will even try to bring the Olympics to Costa Mesa, CA for 2018.
YES I CAN.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Ireland

This is my best friend. She draws and paints, and talent she's got.

A cone, a collar, a few inches taller


I moved back with my parents recently. Oh joy, you say. But actually, there are many benefits to living with your parents, especially ones like mine: a stay-at-home mother who cooks like Emril and a dry-humored father who rolls his eyes at everything, especially that damn espresso that is just never good enough.

First of all, I think my mother actually enjoys doing laundry, because every two weeks she offers to clean my clothes and even stops me from leaving the house so she can "press my blouse." (I would have just said iron my shirt, but she's a classy broad.) Second, my father is quite fancy. He loves going out to dinners, nice dinners, which is a perk for me and whichever friend I have over at the time. There is not a restaurant in Orange County that he hasn't visited. And every time he lets them know exactly what he thought of the experience. I keep telling him he needs to create a Yelp account, but he doesn't listen. He's too busy drinking wine and watching 24, Law and Order, Monk, or one of the hundreds of DVDs he owns. But my most favorite are the conversations my mother has, either with me, my dad, or herself. She is such a hoot. You should meet her.

She's good at offering perspective on all matters. My dog has mites. Apparently, according to the vet, all dogs have mites but Padme's are concentrated in a certain area, which has resulted in a chewed off, Australia cut-out on her ass. We got all the pills, medicinal baths, and, yes, Elizabethan, cone collar (pictured above). Our other dog, Phoebe, who is such a Q-tip, really hates the collar. I don't think Padme really notices when she has it on. She's just really confused at why she can't chew more of her fur to resemble a larger continent. But the Phebester notices. Normally the two of them play tug of war and all that and get along great. But with the collar, Phoebe becomes a maniac. Pad is just jumping around like everything's normal, and Phoebe freaks out, gnashing her teeth and the whole bit. We had just broken up a rumble between the dogs and my mother and I were in the kitchen when she, in all seriousness, empathized with the fluffy Phoebe:

"Well, I can understand. I wouldn't want to play with someone who had that on their head either."

I love my mom.

(Padme's patch is not shown. She is embarrassed and wishes not to reveal her lower half to the public until the hair has grown back. She's not Britney.)