Monday, August 24, 2009

One of my Favorite Vets

A man set his basket of groceries on my register and looked at me. He was like 80. "Well, it's you and me," he said.

"What," I said.

"It's you and me against the world." Very serious.

I smiled quickly then matched his somber tone and said, "Do you have your weaponry?"

"No I don't believe in that stuff. I got enough of it in World War Two."

"Oh."

The woman who was gathering her change from the previous transaction overheard. She waited a few moments, as if gathering up the courage to do the right thing, looked him in the eye and said, "Thank you for serving our country." Her somberness was not in the same mockery tone as mine and the man's. She said this brave statement as if it were her good deed for the day, obeying the urges of Dr. Laura and PBS, who encourage us all to thank our troops.

The man looked at her a bit startled and said, "Well, I didn't have much of a choice. We were drafted."

I smiled at this. The woman did not. She hunched over her wallet again and mumbled something I could not understand. The man looked at me and shrugged his shoulders. The woman then said more clearly, "My father was in World War Two and he said you never return the same."

"Well, yeah. I'd think that'd be kind of obvious. It's a war, you know," he said.

Without a glimmer of a reaction, she walked out the automatic doors.

"I don't know how I got into that conversation."

"Does it make you uncomfortable?" I said.

"No."

I want to see that man again.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Sequoia





I'm a Great Tenant

Recently I have been almost driving in the carpool lane when I'm alone because I think it's legal now that I'm 21. I don't actually think that of course, but for some reason I feel there are no restrictions now that July 8, 2009 has come and gone.

New subject. I can hear everything my landlord and his family say when they're in the kitchen. Mostly it's a lot of him hanging out with his freakishly adorable three-year-old son. But sometimes I can hear he and his live-in girlfriend fighting which I find very awkward. I told him the first week I moved in that I could hear everything so he insulated the walls. But it only muffled the still pretty clear words. Oh well. I'm moving out soon. Oh, and something else awkward. One time I heard them talking about me. I wish it was bad stuff. It would have caused quite the controversy. However, it's impossible for anyone to say anything bad about me. I'm great. So they said all this nice stuff about me, like, "She's really nice...a very good tenant...great girl." Then my landlord said, "Yeah, I'm thinking about lowering her rent." Ah! I was pretty stoked. A few weeks later he came to talk to me and, surprise surprise, lowered my rent. But my reaction probably threw him off a bit. I'm really bad at lying. Unless I'm being sarcastic (there's a difference). So my reaction was like, "Oh wow. That's really nice of you." Looking back on this I feel I should have said something like, "Really? Oh gosh..." Or something...I don't know. Sorry about this anticlimactic story. Then I looked down and found five bucks.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

No Vacancy For Stumpy




I went to a wedding in Solvang last night.  The drive took about four hours.  We made it to the vineyard just in time for the short and perfect ceremony and the beautiful reception.  Delicious wine.  A little too delicious.  I'm feeling it this morning.

Our plan was to cram a bunch of people into a hotel room for the night then drive back the next day.  We stopped by three different hotels and all had to turn us away.  One with a humble white piece of paper posted in the window with a childish scrawl: "No More Rooms."  I tried to find a stable for us to stay in, but I wasn't pregnant so no one took that kind of sympathy on me.  (ba-dum-bum-psh)  Finally at 1:30 in the AM we decided to drive back home.  I tried to keep the driver awake by telling him a scary story.  But it just turned into a coming of age story for an eight-year-old cripple named Stumpy who slept with the camp director, Stacy, who tried to keep their romance a secret because everyone hated Stumpy, especially those damn kids who always toilet papered his shack in the woods.  Poor Stumpy.