Cookie monster

I think it's required to take food pictures

up close like this.

Parson Brown

I might be most proud of these holly berry

cookies. I've never actually eaten one,

but look how impressive.

Some may call me a child; I just say I'm American. I know nothing but instant gratification. And to make things worse, I am a bit privileged and was slightly spoiled as a child. Perhaps these are the reasons why Theodore and the employees of three different grocery stores experienced my fake smile and bubbling anger last night in a seemingly endless quest for Christmas shaped cookie cutters.

I have baked cookies almost every single day since I finished the semester a couple weeks ago. I started with chocolate dipped ginger snaps, then moved on to coconut jam-thumbprints and glazed sugar cranberry. I am finding the most creative excuses to bring cookies to anyone who has a digestive system. (If you want some, give me a call.)

This semester has been quite a hectic one, with my full class load and editing the paper. I used to love hearing the beep of a text message or phone call, but now I dread it, knowing that it's something to do with the paper or one of the other obligations I have dedicated my life to. And so once Christmas break hit, I was excited to do something other than write and fix people's grammar.

Baking provides delightful projects for me that I am actually very good at. Sure, giving cookies away and making people like me a bit more is always a pleasure. But personally, I think people eat too many sweets, me being one of them. Not one of the sweets. One of the people who eats too many sweets. It is really the actual process of rolling, whisking, sifting, frosting, rushing around and burning your elbow that I enjoy.

Theodore came over around 7 last night and I told him we were making cookies, whether he liked it or not. We were going to stay up late and frost Christmas shaped sugar cookies and make them look absolutely superb. Others would ask, "Where did you buy these marvelous cookies?" "Oh," I would say. "Theodore and I finished them early this morning." That is not exactly what happened.

I made the dough just fine. I am a pro, after all. But it needed to chill for a couple hours and we were without the necessary Christmas cookie cutters. The only shapes we had were a Christmas tree and a circle, which I consider a ornament with the proper imagination.

While the dough was in the refrigerator, we went to the first grocery store.

"Cookie cutters are on aisle 6."

There were not an aisle 6.

"Let me go check if we have any in the back."..."No, sorry. We sold out of them."

Second grocery store.

"They're on aisle 12."

They were not on aisle 12. I asked someone else.

"Oh, all the cookies are right here."

"No I don't want cookies. I want to make cookies. Do you have any cookie cutters?"

"Try aisle 12."

"They're not on aisle 12."

He asks a coworker.

"Sorry, we don't have cookie cutters."

After a moment in the car, I realized we were at the point of no return. It was almost 11 p.m. and I was determined. I drove a little further to the biggest grocery store I know of.

I walked up to a cashier and asked if they had any cookie cutters.

"We're closing in 4 minutes and they are on aisle 5."

They were not on aisle 5, and I swear, every damn baking aisle in every store looks the same.

We walked up and down the aisles as a voice over the P.A. system hurried us up in a countdown to closing time.

I ran up to a manager-looking person.

"I'm sorry. I work in a grocery store, too. I know how annoying it is when customers are in here when you're closing. But I have to find Christmas shaped cookie cutters."

He was very generous and helped us look. After a minute of quick paced walking, he found them by the yogurt.

"They must have moved them."

Swell.

I walked out semi-victorious. The only shapes they had were Santa Claus and a Christmas tree. We already had the tree. So that entire hour was spent on purchasing a $2.59 plus tax rubber and metal Santa Claus.

While Theodore watched music videos and napped with Padme, I cut out the shapes and baked the delicious cookies. He left around 1 or 2 a.m. and I continued with my decorations. After decorating with my homemade frosting, I finally went to bed at 3:30 in that damn a.m.

Was it worth it? Of course. I could have waited until the morn to buy cookie cutters. But by that time, my desire for them would have passed. I am quite impulsive.

If I ever tell you I'm going to get a tattoo, please don't let me.